Well after a long journey of over two years, I decided to write a blog to share our journey in having a baby. So many people ask constantly what's going on and how we are doing, not to mention it being therapeutic for me, so here it is....
I'll start off by telling you a little about me. The one thing I have always felt comfortable with and have ALWAYS wanted, was to be a mom. That's it! I love being a mom! It is my most treasured job. My mom always said that I was changing diapers when I was still in diapers, and if there was ever a baby around I was sure to be right by them. It was just natural for me. I didn't play with Barbies, I HATED barbies... I wanted baby dolls! God knew what he was doing by putting Brandon and Kaiden in my life. At least I had Kaiden to fulfill my emptiness.
I'll go back in time and fill you in if you don't already know our story to this point. We knew once we were married, we didn't want to wait long to start adding to our family. Kaiden wasn't quite two when we were married, so we figured that would be a perfect age difference. Simple, right? WRONG!
Two months before we were married my doctor at the time told me to get off the pill to let me body regulate and get on track. Two months passed, we were married, and little did we know our journey in adding to our family was going to be a long, hard road. Our honeymoon came and went, our family trip to Hawaii came and went and after about 4-5 months of trying with no success, I scheduled a doctor's appointment. I know 'they' say that the average couple can take 6-7 months before conceiving, but I was stressing myself out about things that could be wrong with me, and worried about if I would ever be able to have children. Why me? Was I going to be able to give my husband another child? Was I going to be able to experience the one thing I've always wanted? What is wrong with me? I put on a strong face, but deep down I was crushed and worried I would never be able to have kids. My doctor told me if I was having a regular cycle, then I was ovulating, and to quit stressing and let it happen. Let me just say that's easier said than done. He told me to come back in a year if I still wasn't pregnant and he would run some tests. We left feeling a little relieved that I was having normal cycles, and just needed to give ourselves some time.
A year came and went, and still no baby. I decided to go back to school, and we decided to give ourselves a break. God had other plans for us, and we just had to learn to accept that. There wasn't a night that passed that we didn't pray and hope that our wish would come true, but we had to learn that things don't always happen in our time... It's all in God's timing.
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