As I lay her in bed tonight, anxious as ever, I wonder what news I will be faced with tomorrow....
- Will he give me answers tomorrow?
- Will he do bloodwork?
- Will he do another ultrasound?
- Is he going to confirm that my egg quality is low?
- Is he going to say it can't be fixed?
- Is he going to tell me I need a donor egg?
- Is he going to tell me my best or only chance to get pregnant is with IVF?
- Can I afford IVF?
- How will I pay for it?
- Will it even work?
- Or will he tell me I won't be able to have children?
The questions just keep coming and the blood pressure, anxiety, and insomnia continue to rise. I have to take it one day at a time, accept what God has planned for me, and deal with it the best way I know how. My fear is that I will be one that is never able to carry a child, but my faith gives me hope that my Lord above will answer my prayers.... in his own time. One thing I never thought I needed much practice with is patience, but I have definitely been given opportunity after opportunity to practice. Tonight
I'll end with asking for prayer. That's it. I ask that you pray that we get the answers we are looking for and the strength to take on any more obstacles put in our path.
I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. -Philippians 4:13
It is the Lord who goes before you. He
will be with you; he will not fail you or forsake you. Do not fear or be
dismayed. -Deuteronomy 31:8
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